“I LOVE MY WIFE”

(just trying to put a soldier friends emotions into words.)

He may not of showed it you but, what I say is true, but without a doubt, he really did love you

He volunteered for the job that few would do, and everyday, he spoke of you

During his duty he never lost sight, he never openly questioned, what was wrong or right

When I saw him smile, it was because of you, you turned his frown upside down, when he was blue

Going home he counted down the days, to make you happy planned so many ways

In his pocket there was a picture of you, where he went, you always went to

Then one day he said to me, “the picture of my baby I think I will leave”

So on patrol we walked the streets, being cautious as usual of everyone we would meet

The morning sun rose high in the sky, then noon came the morning said bye

The next village ahead was empty and bare, he looked at me, with a worrying stare

He nodded his head and said take care bro, before I could reply on the patrol we go

Empty streets not a soul in sight two steps later we were in a fire fight

Incoming rounds landed at our feet, I looked over he was laying on street

For fourteen minutes, the enemy continued their plight, but the end soon came, we had won the fight

The medic ran over to do his best, but all he could do, was to prepare his body rest

The Chinook came in and took his body away, but somehow he knew, that he would die that day

A bullet had entered where your picture had been, the events that happened, how could he have foreseen?

I know he loved you, in every way, he spoke about you every single day

So you could be free, he gave his life, his last few words was, “I love my wife”

heads of state

Politicians win the wars, generals win the fights, but what recognition do our soldiers get, when they fight day and night?

When a flag draped coffin comes off the plane, does the government realise they caused the suffering and pain?

The best trained army let down by kit, all because the government, wants to save a bit

The news comes on, another life lost, a soldier did his duty, at the ultimate cost

Would the PM still send in the troops if he suffered the same, maybe he’ll then learn, the horrific pain

Recruits from training or veterans years, they fight for each other with blood and tears

Politicians sit back home, having expensive teas and beers, as our men women face daily fears

Politicians want a pay rise it fills me with rage, especially when our girls and boys die for less then minimal wage

king and country no longer I’ll fight, but I’ll go for person who stands both left and right

MIRRORS OF ANSWERS

I look in the mirror, what do I see? Who is the man that stares back at me?

I look into my eyes what do I see? Is it light or dark that is in me?

I listen to voices that are in my head, but there’s so many I can’t hear what is said

I try my best to block them out, but I have no silence, because they always shout

I look in the mirror to see where I am, would I choose be somewhere else? If I can?

I know where I’ve been but I have no direction to go, How can I go through life with nothing to show

If I could escape where would I go, would I go alone or with people I know?

To be alone or to be with friends, what is the best for my mind to mend?

The answers I seek, but the questions I don’t know, to get the solutions where do I go?

Is this my purpose to travel my soul, maybe getting answers to questions will make me whole

Mirror mirror on the wall, help with the answers I seek, will you show me the future me, I’ll even settle for just a peek

Emptiness*Loneliness

Days go by
The alarm goes on
I lie in the bed
staring up the ceiling
Feel a total emptiness

The same things
day in
and
day out
Every second with total emptiness

I do things I love
but the emptiness inside is still there
I keep smiling
But the emptiness is still there
Sometimes even painful

I am fortunate to have good friends,
but unfortnately at the times
where i am feeling my lowest
no one is there
And I realise the painful truth

The truth which i often forget
which is that I only have myself
and that I will always be alone
This loneliness is what I have
lived with for most of my lifetime

Still I so much wish
that one day I will wake up
and feel contentment
Loved
Cared for
Unconditionally...

Each night
I avoid going to bed early
Because of fear
of painful memories
Because of determination
that I do not want to cry

Each day is started with
an emptiness
Each night is ended with
pain of loneliness
I feel at times, I am not living
Just an exsisting body of flesh and blood...

My Beloved pen

Night comes
Silence surrounds me
A sense of peace
The only thing which
makes me feel alive
is the powerful rhyme
of my poetry

I try to shut down thoughts
I try to block emotions
As an insane
I keep doing things to divert my mind
I am afraid that if i dont
the painful memories and thoughts
will empower my strength

Hours pass by
There is an emotional need
A physical need
A spiritual need
to be held tight
so all pain disappear
for a tiny moment

Is this need for
my mother
my father
my sisters
my friends
my soul mate
I dont know

I just know it has been there
for many many many years
And that I wont feel fulfilled
untill this feeling is gone
I close my eyes
Breath deeply
And try to be one
with my beloved pen

I will stand by you

With Arms wrapped around me
You are lying next to me
In a peaceful sleep
I feel a deep pain within me
And can not stop thinking
Keep thinking
About the darkest of the dark secrets
You revealed for me last night
Secrets of cruelty and tremendous horror
You revealed only to me
Keep thinking
How cruel life has been with you
All this time I have known you,
I wanted to be there for you
But now, knowing this
I even wanted it stronger
I want to make sure
To stand by your side
To help easy your pain
To stand by your side
To carry the weight when it gets to heavy for you
To stand be by your side
To lift you up when you fall too low
To stand by your side
To give you all the love and care you never received
To stand by your side
To make you feel loved and cared for
To stand by your side
To make you feel valued and special
And help you love and value yourself

In this way,
By standing by your side
I will make sure
To help ease the pain within you
And make your life
Get the fulfilment it never had
But one, which you truly deserve

I will stand by you!

Marriage vows(for abhi)

On the day of our marriage,
I took the vows
by believing
it would last forever
I meant each word of it
I promised to love and care for you
till death do us apart
I promised to be there for you
for better
for worse
during sickness
during health
till death do us part
I promised to offer you
my faithfulness
my love
my strength
my support
my loyalty.
Till death do us apart
I was willing to
offer you everything I was
and everything I had
Till death do us apart
I believed that
we would spend the rest of our lives
by each other's side
waking up to your face and
falling asleep after your face be my last sight
I sincerely meant and believed that
throughout our lifetime together,
we would always be
the beloved and best friend
of each other
I was ready to sacrifice
I was ready to take risk
I did put you before myself
Cos I belived that is what
love, marriage and a good relationship
is about
I belived that
marriage
was not to prove society
was not for practical reasons
but a way of proving
true love and commitment
simply cos want to spend the life together
So far,
I did keep my promise
I did keep my vows
And I wanted it to be there
till death did as apart
However you made me live a lie
which i belived was a beutiful relationship
and happy life
Left me with a confusion
making me wonder
what is the deeper meaning of
relationships and marriages
I am still walking the jouney
searching for the truth

Pushing away

Every day,
I try
Try in so many ways
To prove you wrong
To make you open your eyes
You keep having your eyes closed
You keep pushing me away
It hurts
But I don’t give up
Cos I think you are worth it
Cos I empathise with you
But I am human too
I have emotions too
No matter how hard
I try to be in your shoes
Still it hurts
It makes me frustrated
And I can see
That now
I have gradually started
To push myself away from you
Cos Im worthy too
And don’t want to feel and look
Like a fool
Cos that’s best
Before its too late

Helping hand

When you need a favour,
You are quick to ask for it
By expecting that people
Put you before themself

But when they need a favour,
even the smallest - You will think twice
You will put yourself first
Before anybody else

When someone deal with you
You are quick to get annoyed
If they are not smiling
You will call it bad customer service or they're being rude

But when you face them
You are quick to be in your own world
Not considering how you could make
Someone’s day better with just a smile

When you see someone in need,
Whether its moral support, financial support
Love and care
You are quick to decide that its not your problem

But when you feel alone, troubled or hurt
You would as anyone else
Yearn for these “little” things from others
Which could make your world a much better place to be in

When you needed few bucks for cigarettes,
Or little bit more for some fashionable clothes
You will be moody that you did not have enough money
And would be quick to borrow some from a friend

But when you hear
About the poverty in the world
The abuse, the war, the cruelty, the natural disasters
You say you cant afford the time and money to bother with charity

When you had a tragic accident
You are quick to wish that
you will get a blood transfusion
So you can survive

But although it takes less than 30 minutes
To donate blood and although it’s only less than a pint
And you could save 3 lives by just one donation
You are quick to not even bother

When your loved one is in hospital
and the doctor says the only way
to rescue her/him is by an organ transplant
you are quick to accept the offer of an organ donation

But you are quick to simply reject even the thought
Of an organ donation to someone else
Even after your death
Instead you will preach about being “whole and beautiful” after death, about religion and sin

It is disgusting how you can be so selfish
And take and take
Without thinking of how the little you do and give
could be so much useful to others

One Universal Religion

Religion, faith, God, Set of beliefs
Cause, nature and purpose of
Life and the Universe
People fight for the sake of religion
People discriminate each other because of religion
People indirectly or directly express racism because of religion
People try to force others into their own religion by preaching
God is regarded as holy, divine, sacred and spiritual
No matter what religion
Morality is the essential pillar of religion
However morality is often being void in the name of religion
Islam, Christianity, Jewish, Buddhism, Hinduism or
Whatever religion
The world would be a much more loving and peaceful place to be in
If they were all seen as one
One universal religion
Take the good from any religion
And leave the part which you know is morally wrong
Stop the discrimination by looking at religion, cast and race
Religion is only a man-made pathway
Cast is only a man-made status
Race is only a biological difference of skin colour
If the existence of God is real,
He himself would only wish that we regarded him sincerely
In the form of loyal, sincere and genuine actions towards others
With a pure soul and kind heart
By living a life based on morality and love
That is what faith is about. What God is about
Religions are only different pathways
What is the meaning with religion?
If we preached, went to religious places for worshipping
But within our heart
we did not have warmth and love for others
in our mind
we only had dark thoughts
We don’t need to worship; we do not need to preach
To be religious
Be spiritual, be sincere, be moral and
If God exists
That is the best way to prove him the meaning of his creation

true love

Sometimes when we belive that we love someone truly

we get possesive using the excuse for our behaviour

that it is the fear of losing the loved one

But in reality, that is not what true love is about

When you love someone to a very deep level,

you are willing to let go although it will cause you pain

You will be willing to allow the person to leave you

for someone or something else,

which matter more to him

than you

Not cos you dont love him

but indeed cos

you do love him completely

by not loving only him

but loving his wishes, his desires, his dreams, his happiness

You put them all before yourself

Before your own wanting

Before your own pain

Cos when you truly love someone

all what matters is

that he is happy within himself

and contented with his life

You will do everything not to

come in the way of that

That is what true love is about

Hard to lose you

IT IS S PAINFUL
I DO NOT KNOW HOW I WILL GO THROUGH THIS
GOD IS MY ONLY FRIEND
PRAYERS ARE MY ONLY HOPE
HOPE IS MY ONLY PEACE
DREAMS ARE MY ONLY TRUE SMILES
YOU ARE MY ONLY HAPPINESS
I MISS YOU BADLY
THIS DISTANCE IS KILLING ME
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE,
JUST CLOSING MY EYES AND NEVER OPEN THEM AGAIN
I WANT TO BE FAR AWAY
I WANT TO MAKE TIME GO FAST
I WANT TO GET OLD AND DIE SOON
I FEEL MORE WEAK FOR EVERY DAY
I CAN NOT GO ON LIKE THIS
I CAN NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE
THE PAIN IS TOO MUCH
I AM YOURS FOREVER, BUT ARE YOU STILL MINE
YOU MEAN MORE TO ME THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW
IT IS HARD TO LOSE YOU....

If it isnt love

If I long to see you,

each time we are apart

If I feel like meeting you again and again and again,

each time I am with you

If I feel like missing you,

when seperating our ways just after having been with you

If I am dying to whisper sweet nothing,

every time you are next to me

If it is the same image,

I see in my every dream

If your single word,

can hurt me badly and ruin my whole day

If every tiny sweet word and caring actions of yours,

can make me so happy and brighten even the darkest of my days

If I can forget everything else in the world,

when we are together -

What is it, if not love...?

My Special Friend

It already starts when the vacation is here
It grows when it become nearer the day
And don’t have to even mention the hours
I count,
The days, the hours and finally the minutes
When I am going to see you
My happiness...brought to me by you!
I keep smiling at each and everyone on my way
I dance
I sing
But you don’t know
About the depth of sadness
I feel when you leave
I know its ridicilous
And I try my best to control my emotions
by being rational and realistic
However it is an uncontrollable feeling
like part of me is missing
Life goes on
You have your responsibilities and duties
And I have mine
But still you will be the first thing on my mind
From I wake up till I fall asleep
I will be thinking of you numerous times
During the day
And at times I miss you so much
That I do not like it myself
And I keep thinking when
I am going to see you again

You are So Special to me

LOVE YOU, MY BABYBOY(Emotion of a new mom))

Thinking that I should not get attached,
tried to keep me emotionally detached
Thinking that I should not let myself love you,
tried to keep reminding me of my past pain
Thinking that you would also leave me one day as others,
tried saying to myself not to be close but keep it casual
But I have started to realise,
that I have been fooling myself all these days
My life would be so much darker and emptier
without you in it
Whatever happens will happen..
but for now I just want to live in the moment.
The first positive emotion I ever felt towards you ,
was when i felt your kick for the first time -
That emotion is now growing day by day
The first intense feeling I felt about you,
was when I thought I was going to lose you
which I did not know then was love
That feeling is now growing day by day
I think I have finally let me love you completely
My God, I love you so much LOVE!!!!
And Im so grateful that I ever conceived you!!!!
Mwhaaaaaaa

Relationships In the End of Our Life

Right now, this moment, even tomorrow
There could be lust and physical attraction
However when days get darker,
When age grows more
When we are at the end of our journey
That time, these things would matter less
That time and even now
What matter most is
The deeper understanding
And genuine care
To be there for each other
During hardship and pain
To be there to push you up
When the last energy is being drained out
There can be so much cheekiness
So much laughter
So much in common
However what really makes us connected
is this genuine care for each other
expressed as deeper love
We now think this could be because of loneliness,
A need for a companion
However in our last days
That feeling will be even more strong
A need for someone
We could still have a laugh with
Someone making us feel young and alive again
Someone to have the last dance with
In our journey of life

TAKEN SO YOUNG

I enter the house, so quiet and calm, I pass in the hall I pass a pram

Mum and dad snuggled up on seat, doing their best but I still hear them weep

I stand at the door and take a deep sigh, before entering the room where baby died

My eyes wonder the room as I walk to the cot, other officers in the room, no one says a lot

I look at the baby who still looks asleep, I find it hard in myself, as I try not to weep

These are the cases I hate to see, I try to hide the emotions deep within me

I know the pain the parents go through, but I have a job, I know what I have to do

Soon they’ll feel like suspects, although they may not be the one to blame, but I have to take everything as evidence all the same

I give a nod for the body to be taken away, how did the baby die, mostly we don’t know

I question the parents, which I really hate, but suffering the same loss, it’s my strongest trait

It makes it worse, not having a reason to tell, a death of a baby is nothing but Hell

I HAVE MY REASONS

Words on paper, what do you see? They make no sense, they move around for me
I can read but I must read slow, what have I just read, oh I don’t know
Like the rest I do a spelling test, but before I start I know it’s a mess
If I write things down with paper and pen, my writing hasn’t improved since I was t...en
I maybe bright, have a creative streak, but compared to someone normal, I know am weak
Spellings, grammar, punctuation to, these are my struggles in life, which I daily go through
I was classed as thick, and sometimes slow, but I hide my dyslexic well, and hope not to let it show
Now you’ve read this will you have a moment’s pause, all the mistakes you have found, dyslexics the cause.
I hope you well, please have a good day, because my friend dyslexic and I, are going on our way

What is this?

A soul which had been hurt
Dreams which have been crushed
Pathways which have been ruined
Hopes which have dissappeared
Trust gone

A beating heart
A new feeling
Genuine smile
A sense of uncertainity
A feeling of re-birth

What is this?

My Haunting Past(the girl at NGO)

People usually say that the best time of their life,
was their childhood
For me, it was the worst nightmare
It is a place, I hate to visit
The darkest secrets
The most painful memories
People say past is past.
Let the past be behind us and move on.
But I feel,
each time I fight strongly to heal the deep-wounded scars
and once they finally begin to heal,
you come back once again
and stab my unhealed wound
Then how to move on?

stay clean and you will be blessed

Be kind,
Stop being judgmental ,
Treat people with respect
And try your best not to hurt anyone with your words or actions
And YOU will be blessed!!!

I realized that,
no matter how hard times are
and no matter how cruel, rude, insensitive people we meet
as long as we try to stay clean with a good heart,
somehow in the end we will be blessed.

During the tough times, it would be so hard to go on and everything would seem hopeless
But still carry on being good to others
and even not at that time
but in the end, you will always be blessed!

I have been blessed with genuine friends my whole life.
If not for my dearest friends,
the hard times would have been much worse!
Thank u so much for being there for me!

Silver spoon

Silver spoon children, why don`t they see

It’s because they`ve never battled, like you and me

All that they have, they have no idea

Blundering forward with no apparent fear

All they can think of is having fun

But what`s going to happen when it`s all said and done

How will they cope when they have to stand on their own feet?

Be accountable and the real world they meet

I suppose that`s what happens when all comes with ease

When the parents think they are helping by just trying to please

All of life`s lessons have never been learnt

So in the end they just end up being burnt

I urge you stop and take a look around

Before one morning you find your face on the ground

Watch who you stand on when you`re on top

They may be the one you need when it`s all come to a stop

When all that you are used to is no longer there

If you`ve been nasty, who do you think will care

Learn to use and appreciate what you`ve got

if you think it will last forever,it surely might not